STRUGGLING DREAMS: THE FIXED INCOME DILEMMA

So many of us, either on pensions or disability incomes [due to injuries, diagnoses, illnesses and/or a family member's death], trying to live, staying healthy, with our only income is, our meager, few modest, fixed incomes; which isn't a possible way to "live". We, the seniors, and those with disabilities, aren't treated with consideration, nor care, as we are looked upon with disdain.

Constantly being ripped off, either by "our so-called government", credit card companies, banks and lending corporations, where the fees alone deliver no understanding of our dilemma, just added debt with frustration for us. It's an epidemic [that I'm a statistical causality of] putting us all, the disabled, the elderly, the poor, on the chopping block, so far in a financial black hole, that we're drowning in hopelessness and the ability to recover, is thwarted. Unable to get out, and leaving our families with the burden to pay these outrageous debts, after we have gone.

So many like myself, because of the meager, monthly funds , are not enjoying life like we would want to . Constantly struggling and sadly knowing that three-meals-a-day isn't an option for us, pondering choices on which (or partially paid for) bills to pay , what foods can be afforded, is there any healthy foods an option to purchase, and replacing /repairing items in our dwellings, as the thought screams, "will I be able to get the medication I need this month?"

By the end of the first week, money is gone, food practically depleted, and here comes the " pass due" notices along with their outlandish "late fees" in the mail from other accounts owed, adding to your mounting debt of sorrow along with your insufficient, fixed income that you've become part of.

I used to stay in a panic of worried depression several years ago. Begging, crying silently, praying, and hoping-while it's being so difficult to be asking everyone I knew for help. 99% of the time, they couldn't help me since the few of my friends were also going though their own brand of problems. Nowadays, I hadn't asked for help like I use to. . .only a couple of my friends I ask. . . and it's hard to ask. I end up becoming physically ill, truly sick to my stomach when working up to courage in asking ( for me it's begging). I struggle with my sentences, and strutter though it all hoping they don't see the pain I'm in by asking. I wonder, has this feeling of dread happened to anyone else? Leave a comment letting me know, and thanks.

I know that I am having conflicts within myself because of. . . , not wanting to be a burden and yet knowing that the end result would definitely be worse. For most, I try not to say anything saddening nor giving away to tears, while putting on a mask they'll recognize and think everything is well with you and yours. I know many of you understand this daily regiment with self, fighting against those "quick and easy" ways to make some cash...several years ago this was in the papers:

I don't know all the particulars of the interview, but I do know that two senior women in Brooklyn, NY, tried to live off of their meager, fixed incomes (which it didn't nor doesn't work), then ending up arrested for dealing weed, pot , Mary J's ( selling marijuana for those that don't know the slang). When asked the stupid question by reporters as to "why did you sell marijuana?", either both or one of the women replied, that the meager monthly income they receive (I believe they were also receiving food stamps at the time) isn't enough to cover everything needed within their homes [or apartments] since they are continually sacrificing something that is needed to live for another day-more like a give and take situation.

I don't know nor have seen a follow up article on what happened to these women afterward. I do understand, though, since those thoughts had crossed my mind, several times over the years; numerous days and weeks over the years when there was nothing to eat and slumber became my conclusion to hunger. Maybe four times a month I'd be able to eat a healthy meal, and that's the way it's gone. I have held out, not asking for any help , needing to believe that things will be better tomorrow. . .it will be alright when the next day comes. . .

One of many, on a personal example:

Nearing the end of 2005, ( I couldn't believe what I heard nor understood why), I read an article on , I think it was some sort of RX reform-type- news, that "our government", must believe that hundreds of thousands, like myself, who are trying to live on our "not-living-on-a-fair", fixed, income, that one of those idiot somebodies decided , that we, the poor, disabled and seniors "must have more than plenty of money" to start making "co-payments" for our medications starting in January, 2006. I was numb. . . after scanning the majority of the story. . .just couldn't believe the despicable greed of those making these decisions on "our behalf "!

What the @#%$ were they thinking when these "delegates of the people" cane up with this "law"? Certainly doesn't and hasn't benefited me, not at all! I couldn't. . . [and hundreds of thousands of fixed-income Americans just like myself] cannot, in all actuality, live off of, nor afford to live on the meager amount I receive now! There's no decent life to live. . . the way I would like to, not with what I receive monthly.

And you. . . congress, slap another bill we must out pay for, to get our prescriptions filled? Especially where there's so many baby boomers, the disabled (both mentally and physically, having life-threatening ailments, they must make damn sure that their medications are the first item on the agenda to be take care of and pay out for. Trying to pay as you can, what you can, afford and trying to make the right decision is some of the the most difficult choices to make, and believe it, this is every month. . . it isn't easy folks nor gets easier!

I can't even recall the last time that all my bills had a zero balance. What was "our government" thinking when this became "law"? Is there a place where a person, on a fixed income, can live a comfortable lifestyle...healthy and without worry? Please tell me!

In "their eyes", we are just an after-thought, last class citizens, something to. . ."take care of with a smile", when they feel like they're ready to address our "situation". We are tired of the crap you continually dish out to us, our environment, animals, and the deforestation of our natural resources of this planet. We aren't items to be put away locked out of sight nor are we aren't fair game for you to exploit, degrade and treat like our existence has no relevance to your decisions.

You, in Washington, D.C., need to change your thought process, and see the reality that's fast approaching,...if you don't recognize that truth when it comes, you'll wander in blindness delivered by the greed you've bedded., Weathering the burden of the "all mighty dollar, your resolution is no longer opened for adjustments. The treachery you enjoy will fester the culpability most deserved.,.where you're doomed to repeat your arrogance without fail.

Thank you for reading